Music, Theatre, The Arts --#3 on the list

Ok so now that I have a list... I figure I should share how they all pan out.  Just so you know right off... they will not be in the same order as my original list, as I want to document them as they develop.  First off we have #3... My passion for Music, Theatre and the Arts...

There I am sitting with my feet cross cross applesauce surrounding by about a hundred kids all anxiously awaiting the start of The Sound of Music rehearsal..What am I doing here??  I thought to myself.  What am I thinking?  I look to my right and there sits another mom I had remembered from the first workshop.  That day she was there keeping her 5 year old company to help her adjust to a new experience.  I had introduced myself to her daughter those weeks ago... "I am doing the show too...And this is my first time too. It will be fun!"  I then briefly attempted to persuade the mom to do the show too.  At first she said in disbelief. "REALLY??? You are doing it too!"  (This is the pretty common first response. ) Then she claimed there was no way her schedule could fit something like that in, but did say it sounded like fun. "You should do it with me..." I had said.  She looked at me like I was a little crazy.

Well there she was... She was just as crazy.  Another friend of hers had joined also. So there we were....3 moms surrounded by a hundred kids. And yet... as we sang and crawled on the floor and pretended to melt like we were ice cream and admitted we were in the 40th grade or something like that.  Every time I looked over at them they were grinning and I know for sure a smile was plastered on my face the whole time.

So, right along with those kids I sang with all my heart "Do a deer a female deer,  Ray a drop of golden sun, Me a name I call myself, Fa a long long way to run, So a needle pulling thread..." Crazy yes... Crazy FUN even more so!!!  So what will I be doing in the show you ask?  Not sure about the lead parts yet... but I will for sure get to wear a habit and sing monastery chants in 3 part harmony,  I'll be a party goer and part of the Salzburg Festival.  That's a least 3 costumes. That's enough to keep this theatre nut totally content.  My kids were placed in groups too and of course we are all split up.  So this should get pretty interesting and... No! there is no way this will be a "boring" experience.

I have to admit.  I was almost as proud I had convinced someone else to join my craziness as I was with the experience of living theatre again.  Hmmmm.... it will be interesting what God does with this crazy idea.  Whatever I do... I plan to do it to His glory.

God in Heaven,
I praise you and thank you, Lord, for giving me the gift of music. For a voice that rings out with the joy of worship.  For a heart that soars along with every chord and for the desire to use my abilities to glorify you.  Thank you for this opportunity to fulfill a dream that began in me so many years ago.  A dream I believed would only come true in heaven.  May you bless all that I say and do to represent you and the gifts you have given me.  May there be many opportunities for me to bless others through this show. Thank you that you have uniquely made me who I am.  Thanks for giving a couple of new friends to journey through my crazy ideas.
In Christ holy name,
Amen

Update: In early November, I had the great honor of playing the role of Mother Abbess in the Sound of Music.  It was an extremely challenging part.  With 44 lines to memorize my mom brain was pushed to its limits and 3 solos, including Climb Every Mountain which challenged the highest part of my vocal range, I was pretty overwhelmed.  For about 3 weeks I was a brooding artist, barely eating or sleeping, living with my lines next to my bed so I could sleep on them...During rehearsals, just about every bit of stage fright I have ever known was in full force.  Yet, 2 times I went out on that stage and sang my heart out, successfully delivering my lines and brought the audience to tears on my last performance.  It was a God delivered experience, beyond my wildest imagination.  22 years ago, I left the stage in my last role as Brigetta, one of the Von Trapp children in this very same musical.  That girl, would not have believed I could Climb the Mountain and return to the stage at age 40 to continue the passion for theatre that had begun to long ago. To God be the Glory!

Turning passions into plans...

If you haven't noticed I have not stopped in to write in quite a bit.  I have un-expectantly found myself at a loss of words. What you say? You??  I know... weird huh...  I am no longer in the place of turmoil I was when I began writing but I still am not completely grounded.  I am drifting a bit.  I seem to have broken down so many walls and have left many boxes that have entangled me.  I am finally feeling free of it all.  Yet I do not yet find myself with a clear purpose or direction.  "Can this really be it?"  Seems like a question that I keep bringing up.  I have every reason to be happy, content, full. I have a great house, great husband, great kids, great neighborhood and an even Greater God.  So much to thank Him for... yet... how do I say this..."Is this it?"  This is the American Dream, no?  hmmmm....I must be missing something.  I find myself a little bored actually and can't really say my passions are taped into regularly.... Then again what am I really passionate about??
Ok... enough drifting... let's start with what I do know... my passions.  What makes Kelly "a sapphires and faded jeans girl?"


1. My relationship with the Lord and seeing others grow in their relationship with the Lord.
2. Art... enjoying it, creating it, giving it 
3. Singing, Theater and Music... listening to it and creating it
4. Travel and all the planning that goes along with it
5. Good education for all children... rich in content, creatively and passionately taught
6. Befriending young people and watching them grow into their unique talents
7. Deep friendships that I can share my heart with
8. The outdoors... enjoying the quiet, taking in the beauty


Since this is who I am... let's make it happen.


1. Find a summer bible study or start one.
2. Commit to regular scrapbook night.
3. Join a theater group... This one I have already done... I am signed up to perform the Sound of Music with my girls this fall.

4. Research a new travel destination beside St. Barts. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm a bit stuck on that place. Explore starting a travel assistent business.

5.  Education... take my kids and their friends to museums and other educational activities this summer.
6. Purposefully seek out some of my girls' friends to mentor and have friendship with.
7. Continue to spend time regularly with girlfriends.  Call at least one good friend every day.
8. Plan a camping trip to the great outdoors, bring a friend along.  Incorporate outdoor activities into date night once it warms up. Go to the beach weekly. Go hiking this summer with the girls.


Ok.. Let's start there and see what happens.
What are your summer plans....Do they incorporate your passions,  your joys? Does your summer reflect who you are?  I plan to be me...with no apologies. "Girl, get your record... sing me your favorite song... just go ahead let your hair down... sapphires n faded jeans.. I hope you get your dreams... just go ahead let your hair down... your gonna find yourself some how... some where."  That's me...

I love you, too, Lord!

In the last week or so, I have been challenged to change my "I love you, Lord!" to "I love you, too!" Do you know what has amazed me the most about this subtle but important difference.? First off it has calmed my spirit for striving to please. I am not one who believes we must earn our love, or earn our way into God's kingdom. I know God loves me unconditionally and his gift is free for the taking. Yet somehow if I am totally honest, I wonder deeply if I am not worthy of this love. There is a desperate desire in this to try to truly express my love for Him, for all he has done, for his favor and gifts of life, hoping that this will grow my relationship with the One who will always have done more for me. But by turning the tables a bit in my expression of my love for Him, I am amazed at what it is doing to our time together... I am choosing to recognize that He indeed loves me far more than I can ever imagine. And just like I accept His gift of salvation, when I say "I love you, too!" I am saying that I recognize that He loved me first. Additionally, I am seeing as each day passes that not only do I rest more knowing He loved me first but I am free and able to love Him more. And no surprise I am also able to love others more openly and without hesitation when I am constantly accepting, welcoming and recognizing His love. A loved individual gives love easily.

The other astounding thing I have recognized is that I am noticing all the small ways He is telling me He loves me every single day. I find myself saying "I love you, too!" way more than I expected....Really...He has been reminding me muliple times a day. A simple moment of getting a parking space that's deperately needed, a guy walking down the street with a shirt saying "Jesus died for your sins", a gorgeous sunset, a compliment from a friend, an unexpected hug at a key moment, an answer to prayer, the blessing of new life, on and on... I keep saying "I love you, too, Lord!!!" wow...I had no idea how much He loves me until I decided to tell Him "I love you, too!"

Don't you realize how taken with you our Lord is? Don't you know that He is spending time trying to let you know this each and every day? Won't you stop in all your busyness, won't you stop all your doubting and take a moment to say to our infinitely loving Father "I love you, too!"? Then you may just find yourself resting and receiving a love that truly satisfying to your soul: streams of living water welling up from within.

Wow God!!! I love you, too!!



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Feeding our Longings: Spiritual Disciplines

Longings seem to be a theme with me lately.  Since the beginning of this year, I have been pressing in hard.  Pushing towards streams of living water overflowing from within.  I am amazed that this is what is promised.  Waters that satisfy my thirst... really??  Seems impossibile??  Our culture is one which longings never cease.  We all want more, need more, we are never satisfied, not with ourselves, not with our spouse, not with our community, not with our government. We expect to find completeness in the American Dream or our vacations or our stuff or our home or our kids.

But...We also seem to long for impact. Even the most committed Christians I know seem to have a need to be fulfilled in their callings, in their gifts, in their role in this world.  Yes, I believe many of these longings are God given.  We long for fruitfulness innately as He created us to be fruitful and multiply. We long to care for the poor and needy, because it is His heart for them that is within us.  But sometimes these longings can turn into the wrong thing.  No, I am not saying it is wrong to pursue these things.  But I know at times I have gotten caught up in the significance it can bring.  It can become more about what I have done than who I have done it for. It can become frustrating when I don't see the results I am looking for.  Or when I don't feel I have the opportunities I deserve or should be offered.

I am beginning to see that at times I have been focused on all the wrong things.  I have been looking for significance, I have been turning to the wrong things to be filled.  Even my actions of service, as pure and as holy as they may seem, will not fill my soul.  No nothing fills my soul like Jesus.  Nothing can satisfy the longings, not even the ones for significance, like My Savior and His majestic and powerful Spirit.  So instead I am turning towards the spiritual disciplines to satisfy my soul....

1. Sabbath rest and solitude with God
2. Daily reading of God's word
3. Prayer
4. Repentance of Sin and the receiving of Forgiveness
5. Worship
6. Actively seeking the Holy Spirit
7. Fellowship with the Body of Christ (His Church)
8. Always being prepared to give an answer for the Hope that I have.

I can't expect to be filled up to satisfaction if I am not seeking the One who will fill me.
He won't stop using me for His glory, I will only become more fruitful and more effective.  Because as He fills me up to overflowing, all that overflow comes out on those around me to bless them, encourage them, care for them, and grow them.  It is when I am totally and completely consumed with Christ and all he has to offer me that I become more useful in His kingdom than I ever imagined.  But the very best part of all, is that all the longings are satisfied because I am feeding and drinking from the one who satisfies. "Seek and you shall find...Knock and the door will be open to you." Won't you press into the Lord, into His word, into the Holy Spirit, allowing rest and solitude, giving yourself over to worship, fellowshipping with other believers, repenting of your wrongs, accepting His free gift of forgiveness, praying and reading of God's word.  It will prove itself to fill you completely with an overflowing abundance of His Holy Spirit. It will satisfy your thirsty soul.

Longings, Loving & Lasting Lyrics

So if any of you have known me for a number of years... you know I have this thing about Valentine's Day.  I admit it's not my favorite holiday.  Yes... it bugs me that flowers are double the price,  yes... it's all the pressure to say and do just the right thing for those you love, yes... it's the work it takes to make all the little cards and the worry that your child didn't bring the best treats to the class.  (Yes... I do have incredibly talented friends whose kids are equally talented who make these absolutely gorgeous valentines for their class)  Ok... so while those seem like trivial hassles that ultimately go along with a bit of rebellion and some cynicism on my part,  I should be able to overcome all that for the ones I love.  True and possible!

But... by far the one thing that bothers me the most about this day is the cards.  What?!??  Yup... it's not that the sentiments are too sappy nor the challenge to not say the wrong thing to the wrong person. All of this is true... NO!  It's really that so much of what is said in a Valentine's Card should never be said to the people in my life.  THE PRESSURE!!  Not the pressure on me but the pressure on them. Here's some examples:

"You complete me!"  No one completes me except Jesus.

"You heal all my hurts with your loving arms."  No one heals my hurts except God.

"You always except me for who I am"  NOT!  Only God can do that...I can be a bit difficult you know.

"Your face lights up whenever you see me..."  Really... Have you seen me in the morning?!?

It goes on and on and on.  What are we really saying to those we love??  We are really asking them to be our Savior.  We are then disappointed when they don't live up to all these silly sentiments.  What kind of pressure is that?

Plus, do I really want to put a person in that place in my life.  Isn't there the danger that I can make them the object of all my satisfaction and then make them miserable when they don't meet my expectations.

Don't get me wrong.  I have bought and purchased a card for my husband.  I love him dearly, but I don't want to make him into something he is not suppose to be in my life.  I want my perfect Valentine to be my Lord and Savior.  He promises an everlasting love, that keeps no record of my mistakes.  His face does light up when He sees me.  He does complete me.  He promises to satisfy ALL my needs.  Not only does He promise but He delivers!!!

When I place all my hopes in that perfect love, Christ's love, I have lasting lyrics that can fill me up with a spring of living water.  When I place my dreams and longings into His perfect hands, I am never rejected or disappointed.  When I do that,  I am free.  Free then to see the good and wonderful things the other loves in my life are doing.  I have perspective and no longer ache with dissatisfaction at what they did or didn't do for me.  I no longer have misplaced expectations because my needs are being met by a perfect and wonderful God.

This Valentine's Day let's honor those we love and love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our mind.  Then let's be sure to let those we love know how very glad we are to have them in our lives, seeing their gifts in a new light.

Belonging: Embracing Eagle moments

We all have a need to belong, a place we call home, friendship and relationships that resonate deep within us. Yet, it seems to me that often the most profound moments in life, the big changes, the huge moves, the mountains so to speak require us to courageously step out alone. Thankfully God often provides a life line, your spouse or an acquaintance to help you walk but ultimately the biggest decisions, the most momentous occasions seem to be lonely ones. The forever journeys that seem to last for months are often done alone.

What I am learning these days is it is in those moments I must not doubt: Not my friendships nor my choices. Instead I must dig deeper for the ultimate lifeline. The ultimate source of courage in the midst of change, peace in the midst of chaos, rest in the midst of confusion. I must not look at what others have, nor fear what I am losing, instead I can dig into who I know my God to be.

He has made us Eagle creatures. Soaring on heights with Him as our strength, with His Spirit as our guide, with His presence as our comfort.
These eagle moments carry us to the next part of the journey. Have courage my friends, reach out to Him, He knows the way even when we know we no longer belong. He understands and will strengthen us for the journey.

" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

I never realized Eagles are solitary creatures. As much as I would like to fly in a flock, it is not the promise. So instead I give praise and thanks to God who is understanding beyond what I can fathom, everlasting and faithful in a way no human can. This is what allows me to step out of the nest to soar. He promises to strengthen us, keep us from growing weary and not grow faint when we place our hope in Him.

So to all of you who are living eagle moments in your life, lean into the Lord, God Almighty. Step out of your nest in faith and get ready to soar with His strength.
My prayers are with each of you. May He bless your journey!


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Longings: what will satisfy??

So here we find ourselves in a New Year... 2011 to be exact. Can you believe it!?!?!  Once again the conversation centers around the future, the resolutions, and the hopes of the year to come. I have to say, in all honesty...what I hear loud and clear is the longings of the heart! The ache for more of the good, the ache for less of the bad. What are we longing for that nothing we buy, work for, spend money on, spend energy on can satisfy??? We toil the earth as we always have, we fill our time with friends, and family and things. Even the good things don't seem to fill the ache within us for more. We make resolutions... eat less of this, exercise more of that, show discipline in this, relax about that...all longings.

So here I find myself wanting alongside the rest of my world. Despite the fact that I refuse to make resolutions, or goals, I too long for more.  Yet, deep in my soul I know what it is that will satisfy. I know what will fill me up and empower me beyond my own abilities. I know a living water that will satisfy.  So tell me you say, what will satisfy my soul?? 


Do you not know? Have you not heard? There is one that came after Him. One that is greater than Him. One who is like Him but is greater still. One who is greater than Jesus himself, you ask? Yes! What amazing news! It is this one who will dwell in us when we ask. Who will fill us with living water that will satisfy our souls. He is the great Counselor. He is the Holy Spirit!

Won't you get to know Him this year and next and the year after that. I hope to, I long to. Come Holy Spirit!! May I know you deeply this year and in the years to come! Satisfy the longings of my soul!!! Fill me completely with your power so I may be an instrument of God in this year and in the years to come!! May you do far more in me than I could ever imagine.  I want more of God this year.  That is my one and only resolution.  It is the only one that promises to satisfy me completely.

Happy New Year!
Come Holy Spirit!!!

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