For several days now I have gone back and re-read my posts from the past 2 years. All I can say, is WOW... I see strength where I thought there was none, I hear wisdom and encouragement when all I felt was doubt, I read hope in the midst of my uncertainty. Thank you God! I am beyond surprised by all God has said through me and am seeing now that indeed..."Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint."
The most exciting realization is that the strength that was given during the waiting, is not just for that dry season, but in fact it is a permanent gain taken into the next season. We grow in strength by having the courage to wait and by walking out the pain and uncertainty of growth. But we don't just gain the strength to get through the difficulty of waiting and the challenge of growth. Instead, we take that strength on into the future. It is the long waiting that in fact may be what prepares us for the next step in the journey. So once again I find myself compelled to share quite publicly what it is I have learned.
The strengths I have gained while waiting...
1. I am humbled... I am not much without God's help. I have been incredibly gifted by Him but am only able to use those gifts to their full potential when I am submitted wholly to Him. He will fill in the blanks in my sentences, the gaps in my abilities, the blatant failures of my humanness.
2. I care less what others think of me...I'd like to say I care nothing of what other's think of me. But I don't think that is realistic and many times not wise as well. I plan to hang on to a healthy dose of respect for other's demands of me, but am also determined to seek first God's design for my time, my energy and my passion.
3. I believe again that dreams do come true... We may mourn the loss of our dreams and our longings for a season, but God's design is that they become completely under His guidance until He can fulfill them beyond our expectations. In fact, He is in the business of fulfilling dreams we didn't realize we even had or ones we only thought would happen in heaven.
4. God is cool! He really is! Even when He is hard on us... to grow us... challenge us...mold us...He has the very best in mind for us. It doesn't feel good when He disciplines us and makes us into a new creation, but in the long run, it's worth it. I like who He is making me into. It's a healthier person, a more content person, a more focused follower. He molds us then sets us free to be all He has created us to be.
5. I must hold EVERY thought captive! I am a spinner of tales. Tales of wo against my own frailty. I am my worst enemy and my biggest critic. There are times when I must ignore, move on from, deny, and purposefully destroy certain thoughts, beliefs, tales of wo, and other crazy ideas that come to rule my heart and mind like a twisted rope choking out life. No more!
6. Just because I am afraid or freaked out doesn't mean I'm not doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing. In fact, if I push through my fear and trust God, I may surprise both myself and everyone else with the outcome. Who knows, it might even be fun! :D
7. Lastly, but most importantly....I must spend daily time with my Savior. Time in prayer. Time in the Word. Even if it is reading one Bible verse each day. God's truth must permeate my being regularly.
Can you tell it has been a lot of strength training? I know I still have a lot to learn...But I also can see know that He has been preparing me for the next part of my journey. Without waiting (which I complained about profusely), without submitting to Him (which I questioned regularly), without sharing with all of you (which challenged my privacy)...I would not have this list of strengths. Thanks for walking this journey with me. I hope you will take the time to share yours...with whoever is suppose to listen. I am thankful that I have not walked it alone.
BTW...I am also thankful to be leaving the waiting room. Whew!
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